Running Man

I have a love/hate relationship with running. In theory I want to be a runner and in reality I'm actually not a bad runner. And I'm pretty good at psyching myself up about running especially when it's warm out. But the actual act of running? Makes me want to hurt someone kinda.

And then my brother - major super athletic guy - is all like, come up to Vermont and run a lot with other people - it's like a race. But it doesn't matter who wins. It's just about the running. Which is total bs because why enter a race if you don't planning on winning. But I could plan on winning but then reality sets in and I'm almost beat by a 90-year-old woman.

So there's this race in Burlington in May. And I was all psyched about it because Jill and I were going to relay run the marathon, each running about 13 miles. Which, I know, is insane but I thought hey, it's only 13 miles I could totally run that! Reality has nothing to do with running. But then we didn't get picked in the lottery. Which I was almost kinda happy about because then I could say, well I was going to run 13 miles but they wouldn't let me! Damn them! All the while secretely pleased that I wouldn't have to run 13 miles. But as it turns out the actual marathon isn't lottery-based so anyone can do that. Well, anyone stupid enough to want to run 27 miles. And then the question arises...am I that stupid?

Because I think y'know as long as I don't die how cool would it be to be able to say I ran a freakin' marathon! But that's if I don't die. And 27 miles? That's like a really really long way. And well, I may have ulterior motives for the run. Because, well, and this is totally horribly embarrasing to even admit, but maybe a little bit has to do with the fact that my brother's really super cute friend might be running the race and yay I could spend time with really super cute friend but then also boo cuz he'd see how much I suck at running and at life and also I could die and that would kinda ruin any chance I'd have with brother's super cute friend but then I find out about this guy and I think man I need to run. I also need to go to England and make this guy my friend because seriously? Fags and booze? Coolest old guy ever!