I'm going to Hawaii.

I'm going to Hawaii.

I booked my flight last night.

I'm going to Hawaii.

I'm not going till January 14, 2009, but I'm still going to Hawaii.

And all last night and all this morning, in my head, it's all, i'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaii!!!!!!!!!

And for the next seven months it's going to be i'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaii!!!!!!!!!

So you and I might be in a deep philosophical discussion about the meaning of life and Barak Obama and rising gas prices and global warming and globalization, but in my head it'll be all like i'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaiii'mgoingtohawaii!!!!!!

And you're not.

(unless you want to. come with me. cheap flights. book now!)

the heart boner post reminded me...

There are lots of things I've done in my life that I'm proud of. Some of the highlights:

- not only passing my history class senior year and being allowed to graduate, but actually receiving a completely undeserved B. awesome!
- writing my 50 page senior paper in three days - while studying for my other finals and completing my journalism II journal - and receiving an A+ on it and being asked - out of all undergrad fashion merch majors - to present it at some undergrad symposium forum thingee.
- getting that award thingee (i don't remember the name of it) that was awarded to one student from each department by a faculty that less than a year earlier probably didn't even know i was in their department.
- being editor in chief of the banner.
- the series of events that took place at the 50 days party.
- eventually moving out of my parent's house (although apparently some people believe that despite the fact that i now live 45 miles away from my parents and am very rarely ever in monroe, that essentially i still live there)
- going four months (and counting) without cutting my hair!
- keeping phish alive, not only longer than all his fishy friends thus proving all those that voted my fish the fish to die first wrong, but keeping a freakin' goldfish alive for two freakin' years!
- beating anthony and craig at bowling.

out of all those awesome accomplishments, the one i may be most proud of...

completing (and surviving) my three nights, three cities, three shows weekend!

friday night: lionely neykov - brooklyn
saturday night: georgie james - washington, d.c.
sunday night: handsome furs - nyc

awesome shows. awesome weekend. awesome me. yay.

this song is about boners...in your heart.

i wrote this on April 7th, the morning after the handsome furs show. i don't know why i didn't post it then. i think i was going to attach the video i took at the show. i'm posting it now. maybe in another month i'll post the video?

heart boner. last night. handsome furs. bowery. fucking awesome.


that's all.

the verdict is still out on the perfect storm though. what the fuck was that? google is no help. well it was either ridiculously brilliant or just ridiculous. thoughts?

oh and i'm here to set the record straight, internet: dan boeckner did not attend columbia.

This is how I went crazy. Slowly and then quickly.

I was up late already last night. I got distracted by the past and didn't want to sleep. I was thinking about London. I was reading Sylvia Plath in my bed and listening to my Itunes. It was almost 2am.

I turned off my computer and put the book away. Turned off the light and put head to pillow ready to sleep. And then I heard a sound. Something vibrating. I thought maybe I had gotten a text message but my phone usually beeps along with vibrating when I get a message. Also the sound was muffled and my phone was right there on my night stand. I checked, no messages. I ignored it.

A minute later, and another vibration. I tried to think of what could possibly be making this noise and realized that, besides my silent phone, there was nothing. I ignored it and tried to sleep.

I wake up thinking it's morning. I swore my alarm had woken me up but when I look at the clock I realize it's only 2:40 and I had barely been asleep an hour. It was that sound that had woken me. That almost silent vibrating sound. I looked around trying to find the source - nothing. I got out of bed trying to see where the sound was loudest but there was no change in volume. I thought maybe it was an alarm of some kind going off but there was inconsistency to the vibrations. A minute apart and then a few minutes of silence and then three within thirty seconds. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep but I couldn't. Every time my eyes closed it went off again and I would be awake. Loud car alarms I could sleep through but this damn near-silent vibration had me wide awake - and thoroughly pissed off. Past 3am at this point, I start getting paranoid. I start imagining scary movies where you realize that the killers under the bed after his cell phone goes off and the idiot victim is all "OMG - He's in the house!!" Luckily, I have so much crap crammed under my bed there's no room for B-movie villians but I check anyway. I look in the closets in the living room adjoining my room. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And again the bzzzz of the phantom vibrations. By 4am I'm in tears. I just want to sleep. I just want to know what the f*** is making this sound. So I can destroy it. Crush it. Kill it. And then sleep. Peaceful sleep.

By 5, I think I've lost my mind. Maybe the sound is only in my head. Maybe it's the ghost of cell phones past. I think about sleeping on the living room couch but you can still hear it in there. I pull apart my room. Take my bed apart.

At 5:30am I give up. I put on my ipod earphones. Blast some Counting Crows and crash.

Two hours later my actual alarm goes off. I feel horrible and still a little crazy. I call into the office, opting for half a sick day. After I hang up the phone, I get back in bed, and I realize....silence. It's gone. Whatever it was, it's gone. And I sleep.

Tonight I'm sleeping at Alex's. If I hear it again when I'm back at my apartment tomorrow night, I may have to move. If I hear it again tonight at Alex's, I don't know what I'll do.