Who needs a house out in Hackensack?

I have to move. I don't want to. I went to look at a place the other night with JM. Despite being only a block from where I live now, the area was surprisingly super sketchy. Despite being only about $200 less than what we now pay for a three bedroom apartment with a full living room and fairly nice sized kitchen, this place was two bedrooms, each the size of one of my closets currently, and a kinda kitchen space/room. And it was dirty and sketchy and gross and I would never live there.

And everything I find on Craig's List is either super expensive or a scam so I've narrowed my options to:

1. moving back in with my parent's (ha)
2. moving in with anthony and jill in montpelier (i would totally actually do this if it didn't mean that two very important people in my life would pretty much never talk to me again if i did)
3. quitting my job, selling all my belongings and moving to peru (or beirut)

So I called my parents to get their thoughts on my options. My dad's suggestions (I'm not making these up!!):

1. JM moving into my current room with me. Get bunk beds.
2. move in with a recently married friend of the family who just bought a house in monroe

Any guesses to the final - and absolutely serious - solution from my parents...

Yup that's right....
3. Pray about it! Give it up to God!

When I end up homeless in a month, you'll know who to blame.