This is how I went crazy. Slowly and then quickly.

I was up late already last night. I got distracted by the past and didn't want to sleep. I was thinking about London. I was reading Sylvia Plath in my bed and listening to my Itunes. It was almost 2am.

I turned off my computer and put the book away. Turned off the light and put head to pillow ready to sleep. And then I heard a sound. Something vibrating. I thought maybe I had gotten a text message but my phone usually beeps along with vibrating when I get a message. Also the sound was muffled and my phone was right there on my night stand. I checked, no messages. I ignored it.

A minute later, and another vibration. I tried to think of what could possibly be making this noise and realized that, besides my silent phone, there was nothing. I ignored it and tried to sleep.

I wake up thinking it's morning. I swore my alarm had woken me up but when I look at the clock I realize it's only 2:40 and I had barely been asleep an hour. It was that sound that had woken me. That almost silent vibrating sound. I looked around trying to find the source - nothing. I got out of bed trying to see where the sound was loudest but there was no change in volume. I thought maybe it was an alarm of some kind going off but there was inconsistency to the vibrations. A minute apart and then a few minutes of silence and then three within thirty seconds. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep but I couldn't. Every time my eyes closed it went off again and I would be awake. Loud car alarms I could sleep through but this damn near-silent vibration had me wide awake - and thoroughly pissed off. Past 3am at this point, I start getting paranoid. I start imagining scary movies where you realize that the killers under the bed after his cell phone goes off and the idiot victim is all "OMG - He's in the house!!" Luckily, I have so much crap crammed under my bed there's no room for B-movie villians but I check anyway. I look in the closets in the living room adjoining my room. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And again the bzzzz of the phantom vibrations. By 4am I'm in tears. I just want to sleep. I just want to know what the f*** is making this sound. So I can destroy it. Crush it. Kill it. And then sleep. Peaceful sleep.

By 5, I think I've lost my mind. Maybe the sound is only in my head. Maybe it's the ghost of cell phones past. I think about sleeping on the living room couch but you can still hear it in there. I pull apart my room. Take my bed apart.

At 5:30am I give up. I put on my ipod earphones. Blast some Counting Crows and crash.

Two hours later my actual alarm goes off. I feel horrible and still a little crazy. I call into the office, opting for half a sick day. After I hang up the phone, I get back in bed, and I realize....silence. It's gone. Whatever it was, it's gone. And I sleep.

Tonight I'm sleeping at Alex's. If I hear it again when I'm back at my apartment tomorrow night, I may have to move. If I hear it again tonight at Alex's, I don't know what I'll do.