this plane is definitely going to crash.

i don't like the cold. that's been well established i think. i kinda hate it. october and november are okay. there's novelty in the cold. and then there's the random warm day thrown in and it all feels okay. december is okay. it's the holidays. it's supposed to be cold. white christmas and all that jazz. then january happens. and from there it all goes down hill. fast.

i tend to hibernate in the winter. i'm so much better in the summer. really.

the one thing i do like about the cold. snowboarding. so i plan a trip up to vermont for martin luther king weekend. since i'm going alone and don't have a car nearby i decide to fly. i book a flight leaving out of jfk the thursday afternoon prior to mlk day. i decide to take a half vacay day and go straight to the airport from the office. this seems like a brilliant plan. i book the flight. i'm psyched.

then i'm sick. i know. seriously. when am i not sick. could i go to vermont and not be sick? i'm starting to think maybe not.

i'm sick the whole week prior to my trip. mostly just a cold. but i can feel it building. getting worse. every day. i know it's waiting. it's waiting for the exact day i'm supposed to leave. to get worse. to ruin my trip. i know.

thursday morning i wake up. i feel like crap. i've gotten just a few hours of sleep since i procrastinated on packing and was up most of the night prior doing so. i call out of work figuring a few more hours of sleep might make me feel better. it really doesn't. i head to the airport. jersey city to jfk = 2 hours. flight from jfk to vermont = 45 minutes. seriously. of course 2 hours and 45 minutes is still a world better than 7 hours in a car (plus a 2 hour train ride to get the car).

i get to the airport with an hour to spare. stock up on mags and candy and get some lunch. they announce my flight. i'm about to board. i'm waiting for them to call my row. i'm listening to my ipod. it's on shuffle. i hear a modest mouse song i've never heard before play. all i hear is a voice screaming, "THIS PLANE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO CRASH!" I don't know how to proceed. I look around, needing to share this ridiculousness with someone. They call my row. I consider calling a friend to relay what I just heard as I'm about to board a plane. I worry that if the plane does crash that the irony of the situation will be lost forever. I also worry though that someone might over hear the call and me saying, "this plane is definitely going to crash," and maybe arrest me.

The plane doesn't crash. I make it to Vermont.

Jill picks me up at the airport. I inform her that I am sick. She informs me that both her and my brother are also sick. Both are on antibiotics. Essentially we're a mess.

Jill is supposed to take off work on Friday so we can go to the mountain. She in unable to do so. I figure I can just take a walk into town while her and my brother are at work. Just hang out in Montpelier for the afternoon. I end up sleeping most of Friday away. Once awake, I get ready to walk into town. I sit down to put on my boots. The longer I'm awake the worse I feel. I decide to sit for a minute before heading out into the cold with a cold. There's an American's Next Top Model marathon on. I don't leave the couch.

My brother eventually gets home. He half-assedly gives me shit about wasting my day, although, I can tell that he feels just as much like shit as I do and probably wishes he had had the opportunity to spend the day watching ANTM reruns. We get the girls ready to take them for a walk. They see their leashes and Anthony moving towards the door and they start barking and screeching and running for the door in excitement. Sadie sits nicely, yelping a little. Ava is a little maniac, attacking the door and making the weirdest little noises I've ever heard come out of a dog. I determine after a while that she sounds like Chewbacca.

Me and my brother walk down to Montpelier. I hit up the wicked cool antique shop on Main Street while Anthony waits outside with the girls. Then we head behind the main part of town to a path leading up a hill. Anthony informs me this is the way to the "park" so I follow him. It's cold and there is snow and this feels an awful lot like hiking and I'm skeptical of what we are going to find at the top of this hill. I'm pretty sure there will be no swings or slides up there or any other sort of park-like items and thus question his use of the term park at all. Also, it's getting dark.

I brought along with me three cameras: a canon elph, a holga, and an old kodak brownie that I'm not entirely sure even works anymore. I stop along the walk to use the brownie. As it doesn't have a flash I want to get some shots in while there's still light out. I also take some quick shots with the holga which I haven't used before. While I love the instant gratification of getting to see my pictures immediately on my digital, I realize I've missed the allure of having to wait to get pictures developed to see what I got. My brother yells at me for being so slow. Informing me that I should wait to get to the top to take pictures and that if I keep stopping there won't be any light at all by the time we get there. I'm pretty cynical about what's waiting for me at the top of this hill so I keep strolling and snapping.

Sadie stops momentarily a couple of times along the walk to relieve herself so to speak. after which she kicks the area with her back feet causing dirt and snow and crap to fly up into the air. as i'm dawdling i find myself behind sadie for most of the walk. this places me right in the line of fire during this little shit-kicking activity. the inappropriateness of the situation is ridiculous.

we eventually make it to "the park." as expected there are no swings, slides, or other park-like items. there is however some sort of brick castle-like structure that you can climb up for an amazing view of montpelier. so anthony and i climb up to the top with the girls. at this point it is far too dark to get any good shots in - as anthony of course predicted. ava attempts to jump off the castle, which pretty much means it's time to get back down to safety. anthony puts sadie and ava back on their leashes and gives me ava's leash to get her down the stairs. here's the problem: i'm afraid of stairs. i'm not afraid of heights. i'm afraid of stairs. mostly going down stairs. and escalators. more so escalators. but certain stairs. really steep stairs. really windy stairs. so these stairs, really steep, windy, and wet and icy stairs - i'm not okay with them. on my own, walking slowly, carefully, i'm not okay with them. getting dragged down them by an out of control dog? definitely not okay. not my favorite part of the trip. i'm just saying. we somehow walk farther up the hill to get back down and then go back to the house for dinner.

then it's saturday and it's snowboarding time. i want to be psyched cuz this is my first time riding with my brand spankin' new snowboarding boots. i'm always riding with jill's old boots, board, and bindings, and the board and bindings are fine, but the boots are about a half size too small which is no good so i finally got around to getting my own boots. and here i am on their inaugral ride and i feel like crap. i make it to the top of the lift and off the chair lift succesfully. i note that this chair lift - one we don't usually take - has an especially steep hill coming off of it and that there are two really inappropriately placed poles right at the bottom of the hill. i'm amazed i don't ride right into the pole but i don't. i strap in and am ready to ride. except not really. because i feel like crap. and i seem to have forgotten how to snowboard. about half way down i take a really hard fall and feel a little dizzy when i get back up. i decide i need a break and go and get some hot chocolate when i make it to the bottom. i'm determined not to give up so easily. i came up to vermont to snowboard and that's what i'm going to do. i go back up the lift with anthony. i forget about the completely inappropriately placed poles. i ride directly into the pole. i am laying flat on my back, board up against the pole. my brother is standing over me, laughing, he points out that you're supposed to avoid the poles, not aim for them. thanks. ass.

i do two successful runs before i get a migraine and have to throw in the towel. i wait at the bar with jill for anthony to finish riding and we head home. i'm miserably sick saturday night and pass out on the couch.

i feel a little better on sunday. i hang around the house with jill and the dogs and then take a walk into town while jill watches football.

i am finally feeling better on monday. jill has to work but anthony has the day off. we head to the mountain with the girls. we don't feel like spending the money on lift tickets so anthony suggests we hike up a closed lift and ride back down. this seems like a good idea. sort of. the hike up takes about 40 minutes and my complaining is actually kept to a minimum. we make it to the top of the lift - which just so happens to be the same lift where i boarded right into the poles, so we reminisce about that for a bit - and hang out in the little house on the top of the mountain for some lunch. the view is utterly amazing and the sun is starting to set. we decide to head back down and anthony chooses then to inform me that the girls don't really like snowboards and that they may freak out a bit when you put yours on. this is by no means an understatement. ava yaps a little and runs around a bit, sadie jumps on me, barkling like mad. anthony tells me that the dogs will just run on ahead down the mountain once we get going. this is a lie. ava takes off but sadie runs alongside me. then sadie decides to run ahead of me, stop directly in my path, turn around and stare me down as i come barreling down towards her. i'm an okay snowboarder. i'm getting better. but i am in no way a good enough snowboarder to try to avoid a moving animal who is actively trying to stand in my way. i seriously didn't think we were both going to make it down the mountain alive. at one point anthony picks up ava and rides down the mountain carrying her. sadie sees this, bolts after anthony, lunges into the air at anthony, flips over and lands flat on her back onto the snowboard. i was pretty sure she was a goner but nope, she hops right back up and starts chasing me again. somehow, we make it to the bottom of the mountain alive.

my brother asks me, 'now wasn't that worth saving $70 on a lift ticket?'

i tell him that it was if you only wanted to take one ride down the mountain like we did. that it was a nice hike and a nice little afternoon activity. it would not, however, be worth it, if you planned on doing more than one run and had to do a 40 minute hike for a 15 minute ride over and over again. that would just make you a cheap ass.

i leave tuesday morning. jill drives me to the airport at 4:30am for my 6am flight. there is an unexpected 45 minute line to get through security. i make my flight by 2 minutes. i do not listen to my ipod and my plan does not crash.