attendees:
me
two out of three smith sisters (kate sent brownies in her place)
tobey
food/beverages:
jones cream soda
pizza bagels
pizza rolls
spicy sesame chicken bites
oreo brownies (courtesy of kate)
entertainment:
high school musical
discussing ashley tisdale's new nose
snl
If3: Questions for the game of love
Basically, how jealous are you??
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
why i shouldn't call my mom when i feel sick...
so i'm at work and all of a sudden i get this terrible pain on the left side of my stomach. it feels kind of like a cramping pain, right below my rib and it hurts like hell and it's only on the one side. and i think this is weird and possibly a little worrisome so i call my mom. cuz she's a nurse. and she's my mom. and maybe she can help. ha.
so i ask my mom what side your appendix is on and my mom starts laughing hysterically at me. like non-stop. for like ten minutes. then she tells me it's the right side. so i determine that i don't have appendicitis. and i determine that i shouldn't call my mom for medical advice.
then i ask my mom if she ever laughs at the little kids when they come to the nurse's office and tells her their symptoms. and she says yes sometimes she does.
my mom is a bad nurse.
and then she gave me a lecture about not going to see the golden compass.
so i ask my mom what side your appendix is on and my mom starts laughing hysterically at me. like non-stop. for like ten minutes. then she tells me it's the right side. so i determine that i don't have appendicitis. and i determine that i shouldn't call my mom for medical advice.
then i ask my mom if she ever laughs at the little kids when they come to the nurse's office and tells her their symptoms. and she says yes sometimes she does.
my mom is a bad nurse.
and then she gave me a lecture about not going to see the golden compass.
Monday, December 10, 2007
why i shouldn't shop after talking to my mom...
i needed to buy my nephew a birthday present. he's going to be 10. i've never been a 10-year-old boy before so i'm kinda clueless as to what to get him. i call my mom.
i talk to my mom. i get guilt tripped into going to some live nativity thing in the bronx on saturday. i try to express my disinterest in this to my mom since i would have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to go to the bronx since i will be in monroe this weekend and how ridiculous it would be for me to go to monroe so as to get on a bus at the ass crack of dawn to spend my saturday at some live nativity thing in the bronx particularly since i will inevitably be wildly hungover from the ridiculous night planned for friday. my mom says something about the reason for the season and then says she doesn't want to talk to me anymore if i'm going to have an attitude and hangs up.
i go to the store. i shouldn't shop after talking to my mother. i shouldn't talk to my mother.
i came very very close to buying my nephew the golden compass book on tape and a sex pistols belt.
i talk to my mom. i get guilt tripped into going to some live nativity thing in the bronx on saturday. i try to express my disinterest in this to my mom since i would have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to go to the bronx since i will be in monroe this weekend and how ridiculous it would be for me to go to monroe so as to get on a bus at the ass crack of dawn to spend my saturday at some live nativity thing in the bronx particularly since i will inevitably be wildly hungover from the ridiculous night planned for friday. my mom says something about the reason for the season and then says she doesn't want to talk to me anymore if i'm going to have an attitude and hangs up.
i go to the store. i shouldn't shop after talking to my mother. i shouldn't talk to my mother.
i came very very close to buying my nephew the golden compass book on tape and a sex pistols belt.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thanksgiving, or why I don't go home anymore.
Ugh, the holidays. Family. Food. Lots of things that start with the letter F that I have little to no interest in.
Every year there is great debate over where to have Thanksgiving. There area pretty much only two options: at my parent's or at my brother's in Vermont. The first (and only) year we had Thanksgiving at my brother's I was very much against the idea. This was because I was still in college and would only be home for a few days on break. I wanted to spend this time seeing my friends, not in a car for 14 hours. Of course, no one cared and we went to Vermont. Every year since I've been very much pro Thanksgiving in Vermont. This is because I was now living at home and seeing my friends all the freakin' time. Also, because having my brother in charge of Thanksgiving means my mom is not and thus it will inevitably be a much less stressful event. Of course, once again, no one has cared and we've spent every Thanksgiving since at my parent's. This year, it seemed almost definite - Vermont. There, of course, was drama - who would drive with who? Who would go up when? Who would sleep where? I stayed out of it. Mostly because I knew I would not be heard so why bother putting my two cents in. At the very last minute, for reasons beyond absurd, it was decided - we were to stay in NJ. I resolved that next year I would spend the holiday alone in my apartment with a hot pocket. I hate holidays!
I went home. This is why that was a bad idea.
Let's begin with the fact that I've been sick. I know what you're thinking. I'm always sick. But this is like really sick. This is can't eat anything sick. So this is no fun sick. Especially on Thanksgiving. I don't care about turkey. I don't think much of it. But, man oh man, do I love me some stuffing. And some sweet potatoes. And cranberry sauce! Oh and dessert. How I love dessert! But, alas, there was no dessert for me this Thanksgiving. There was half a cookie and then a stomachache.
What do I love about holidays? The clothes. Holidays are opportunities to get dressed up. Well, I suppose it is for people that are not my family. My family believes in a casual holiday atmosphere. I could get away with wearing my pj's to dinner type of atmosphere. I get dressed up anyway. I put together this cute little outfit that I purchased the night before. My mom takes one look at me and says: interesting. Not 'you look nice' or 'cute outfit', no, 'interesting.' That is not a compliment. Especially not with the look that correlates.
Holidays require two tables. I feel like even if you don't have a big family that requires a big table you probably still have two tables for holidays. Even if it's like only 3 people at one table and two at the other, there's got to be the two. Why? Cuz you need to have the kiddie table. There's the big people table and then the kiddie table. Guess who sat at my family's kiddie table? Yup, that would be me. Guess who sat at the big people table? Yeah, that would be my 9 and 3-year-old nephews.
Oh and the best part about Thanksgiving? It's just the beginning. It's just the beginning of the holiday season. Cuz then comes Christmas. Unlike the drama that came with where we're having Thanksgiving, Christmas is easy. It's always the same place. Christmas Eve at my Aunt's (two houses up from my parent's) and Christmas Day at my parent's. Every year. No surprises.
I ask my brother that lives in Vermont if he'll be home for Christmas this year. He tells me that he probably won't. That my parent's will be coming up to Vermont the weekend before Christmas to see him and his wife but that he'll probably miss out on Christmas at Joe's (my other brother). I inquire, 'what do you mean Christmas at Joe's?' He says, 'you didn't know? Joe's having Christmas at his place this year. Weren't you invited?'
I was not invited to Christmas.
This is why I don't go home anymore.
Every year there is great debate over where to have Thanksgiving. There area pretty much only two options: at my parent's or at my brother's in Vermont. The first (and only) year we had Thanksgiving at my brother's I was very much against the idea. This was because I was still in college and would only be home for a few days on break. I wanted to spend this time seeing my friends, not in a car for 14 hours. Of course, no one cared and we went to Vermont. Every year since I've been very much pro Thanksgiving in Vermont. This is because I was now living at home and seeing my friends all the freakin' time. Also, because having my brother in charge of Thanksgiving means my mom is not and thus it will inevitably be a much less stressful event. Of course, once again, no one has cared and we've spent every Thanksgiving since at my parent's. This year, it seemed almost definite - Vermont. There, of course, was drama - who would drive with who? Who would go up when? Who would sleep where? I stayed out of it. Mostly because I knew I would not be heard so why bother putting my two cents in. At the very last minute, for reasons beyond absurd, it was decided - we were to stay in NJ. I resolved that next year I would spend the holiday alone in my apartment with a hot pocket. I hate holidays!
I went home. This is why that was a bad idea.
Let's begin with the fact that I've been sick. I know what you're thinking. I'm always sick. But this is like really sick. This is can't eat anything sick. So this is no fun sick. Especially on Thanksgiving. I don't care about turkey. I don't think much of it. But, man oh man, do I love me some stuffing. And some sweet potatoes. And cranberry sauce! Oh and dessert. How I love dessert! But, alas, there was no dessert for me this Thanksgiving. There was half a cookie and then a stomachache.
What do I love about holidays? The clothes. Holidays are opportunities to get dressed up. Well, I suppose it is for people that are not my family. My family believes in a casual holiday atmosphere. I could get away with wearing my pj's to dinner type of atmosphere. I get dressed up anyway. I put together this cute little outfit that I purchased the night before. My mom takes one look at me and says: interesting. Not 'you look nice' or 'cute outfit', no, 'interesting.' That is not a compliment. Especially not with the look that correlates.
Holidays require two tables. I feel like even if you don't have a big family that requires a big table you probably still have two tables for holidays. Even if it's like only 3 people at one table and two at the other, there's got to be the two. Why? Cuz you need to have the kiddie table. There's the big people table and then the kiddie table. Guess who sat at my family's kiddie table? Yup, that would be me. Guess who sat at the big people table? Yeah, that would be my 9 and 3-year-old nephews.
Oh and the best part about Thanksgiving? It's just the beginning. It's just the beginning of the holiday season. Cuz then comes Christmas. Unlike the drama that came with where we're having Thanksgiving, Christmas is easy. It's always the same place. Christmas Eve at my Aunt's (two houses up from my parent's) and Christmas Day at my parent's. Every year. No surprises.
I ask my brother that lives in Vermont if he'll be home for Christmas this year. He tells me that he probably won't. That my parent's will be coming up to Vermont the weekend before Christmas to see him and his wife but that he'll probably miss out on Christmas at Joe's (my other brother). I inquire, 'what do you mean Christmas at Joe's?' He says, 'you didn't know? Joe's having Christmas at his place this year. Weren't you invited?'
I was not invited to Christmas.
This is why I don't go home anymore.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
we are not cold weather people.
from an email from my best-y:
Hi. I just wanted to send you a quick note and let you know that I love you and value your friendship in the event that I should die of pnuemonia before I see you. It is about 10 degrees in this workroom and I am not sure if I will make it. Have a nice day.
i responded suchly:
Your dedication to sending me such a note despite being on the verge of hypothermia and almost certain death shows that the sentiment is sincere. I ,too, love you and value your friendship and my thoughts are with you during this time. I do hope you pull through as I am very much looking forward to our junk food, chick flick, and booze-filled slumber party!
Hi. I just wanted to send you a quick note and let you know that I love you and value your friendship in the event that I should die of pnuemonia before I see you. It is about 10 degrees in this workroom and I am not sure if I will make it. Have a nice day.
i responded suchly:
Your dedication to sending me such a note despite being on the verge of hypothermia and almost certain death shows that the sentiment is sincere. I ,too, love you and value your friendship and my thoughts are with you during this time. I do hope you pull through as I am very much looking forward to our junk food, chick flick, and booze-filled slumber party!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
...and this is why I don't call my parents.
So here's a little background for y'all. Last Christmas, my dad asked for a USB turntable so he could make mp3s out of his records. I thought this was totally bad-ass and was happy to purchase said item for him so that I could use it. Unfortunately, as the USB turntable only came out last winter, the few stores that even carried it were back ordered for months. None-the-less, I put myself on a waiting list for a store that expected more shipments in February and on Christmas morning I presented my dad with some random reggae record I picked up at Princeton Record Exchange in lieu of, and symbolically representing, his gift to come.
A few weeks later I got word that the turntable was in and that I had 24 hours to decide if I still wanted said item before my credit card would be charged. When I let my dad know that he can be expecting his belated present soon, he informs me that he is no longer interested. As it turns out he's been watching me spend hours upon hours uploading all of my CDs onto my ipod and has decided it looks like way too much work and he's no longer interested. End of story.
Fast forward to this holiday season. About a month ago, my mom hands me a catalog with what seems to be a USB Turntable on it circled with a red pen. She informs me that my dad has requested this item for Christmas and she will be getting it for him but since she doesn't know what it is, she wants me to order it for her. This item is $150 - slightly cheaper than what it was selling at a year ago when it first came out. USB Turntables are now being sold everywhere so I figure I'll just pick one up from Urban for her when it gets closer to Christmas. My mom calls me every other day inquiring as to whether I've purchased the gift yet. She is now convinced that this item will again sell out. I try to impress upon her the unlikeliness of this happening as it is no longer a new item and is now being sold everywhere to no avail.
While home for Thanksgiving I'm looking over some catalog and see a turntable that burns records to CD's. I suggest to my mom that this would be much better for my dad as that's all he's going to use the USB Turntable to do anyway. This would just eliminate an extra step. But since it's twice as much money my mom wants me to just get what my dad asked for.
So then I'm home again this past weekend and my dad is driving me to the train station and he asks if I got him the USB Turntable yet. As he was the one who circled the item in the catalog, I'm not surprised that he knows he's getting it. I tell him I'm working on it and I mention the new Turntable/CD Burner item. He then tells me that that's what he circled in the catalog he gave my mom. I didn't really look at what he circled so I can't say for sure but I did recall the item only costing $150 so I think that this is strange.
My room is somewhat of a disaster when I get back to my apartment so I don't even bother looking for the catalog. The next day at work I search online for other Turntable/CD Burner items, thinking that maybe the one I saw for $300 was just super extra fancy and that there might be ones selling for $150. This is, of course, not the case. Every one I find is $300 or more. I find one for $295, but definitely nothing close to $150. Interestingly enough, every USB Turntable I find is within the $140-$160 range. I come to the conclusion that my dad must not have realized that what he circled was not what he wanted. I call my mom to discuss this with her since what my dad really wants is going to cost twice as much as what she thought she was going to get him and to see if she just wants to get the cheaper item since he can do the same thing with it, just with one additional step or if she wants to get the $300 turntable.
Then this happens:
mom: Hello?
me (as I walk to the PATH after work): Hi.
mom (cheerful): Hi! You sound happy. Why do you sound happy?
me: I'm not. I mean, I'm not unhappy but I'm not particularly happy. I'm leaving work and it's cold out. I don't know.
mom: Did you get that thing for your dad yet?
me: Actually that's why I'm calling. I have a question about what he wants. See, I told him about that thing I saw in that catalog on Thanksgiving and it sounded like that's what he wanted but...
mom: hold on, I'll put him on the phone. (away from phone, but not really) JOE!!!!!!
me (a little louder): no, wait. I don't want to talk to dad. I already talked to dad about this!
dad: hello?
me: why did she put you on the phone? I need to talk to her about this!
dad: what do you need?
me: I need to talk to her. I was telling her that but she doesn't listen.
mom (in the background): I don't know what she's talking about. You talk to her.
dad: You're mom doesn't know what I want. Just buy it.
me: Can I please talk to her?
mom: hello?
me: mom, please listen, do not put dad on the phone! The thing is, what dad circled in that catalog...
mom: I don't know what it is. Talk to your dad about it.
me: DO NOT PUT DAD ON THE PHONE!!!
dad: hello?
me: What is wrong with her? Seriously!!
dad: calm down. now just tell me what's going on.
me: No! You already know what's going on. I need to explain this to mom.
dad: Just get me what I circled in that catalog.
me: But I'm pretty sure what you circled was the turntable that plugs into the computer.
dad: No. Did your mom give you the catalog where I circled the record player that makes CD copies?
me: Mom gave me the catalog but I'm pretty sure what you circled isn't what you think it is.
dad: You don't have the catalog. I'll find the catalog for you.
me: No, dad, mom gave me the catalog.
dad: Then just order that. The record player that burns cds.
me: Dad, I don't have the catalog in front of me but what you circled is too cheap to be the item that you want. I'm pretty sure...
dad: That's what I want. Just order it.
me: Can I please talk to mom?
mom: hello?
me: Please. Please. Do NOT put dad back on the phone! I do not have the catalog in front of me so I will look at it when I get home but what dad wants is not the same price as...
dad: hello?
me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????
dad: Now calm down. This is not a big deal.
me: Fine. Fine. Whatever. Fine. (It is taking all of my will power to not just hang up the phone at this point. I am walking down Broadway screaming into my cell phone. I am becoming one of those people I hate.) I will go home and I will look at the catalog and see what you circled and then I will call back and I will discuss this. Fine.
dad: okay.
me: Please, put mom back on the phone and no matter what DO NOT take the phone back from her.
mom: I don't know what he wants. Just order what he circled.
me: Fine. Whatever. I am going to order what he circled in the catalog. It may cost $300.
mom: No what he circled cost $150.
me: I understand that. Please stay on the phone. But what he wants is $300. Don't give him the phone.
dad (in the background): just stay on the phone with her. I know you don't know what I want. I told her the same thing.
me: mom? are you listening?
mom: I don't know what he wants. Some record player thing.
me: Mom, I am telling you I know what he wants. I will buy it. Please listen, and don't give dad the phone. If dad is right and what is circled in the catalog is what he wants then I will order it. If I am right, and I think I am, then what he wants costs $300, however, and please stay on the phone for this, I can get something for $150 which will do the same thing as what he wants except with one additional step that requires hooking it up to the computer.
mom: the second one.
me: the $150 one with the extra step?
mom (Practically whispering so my dad won't hear, despite the fact that my dad knows exactly what he's getting!!!!): no, the other one.
me: the $300 one.
mom (still whispering): yeah.
me: fine. I'll see you for Christmas. Maybe. I still wasn't invited.
mom (exasperated): have a good night sara.
...And this is why I don't call home.
A few weeks later I got word that the turntable was in and that I had 24 hours to decide if I still wanted said item before my credit card would be charged. When I let my dad know that he can be expecting his belated present soon, he informs me that he is no longer interested. As it turns out he's been watching me spend hours upon hours uploading all of my CDs onto my ipod and has decided it looks like way too much work and he's no longer interested. End of story.
Fast forward to this holiday season. About a month ago, my mom hands me a catalog with what seems to be a USB Turntable on it circled with a red pen. She informs me that my dad has requested this item for Christmas and she will be getting it for him but since she doesn't know what it is, she wants me to order it for her. This item is $150 - slightly cheaper than what it was selling at a year ago when it first came out. USB Turntables are now being sold everywhere so I figure I'll just pick one up from Urban for her when it gets closer to Christmas. My mom calls me every other day inquiring as to whether I've purchased the gift yet. She is now convinced that this item will again sell out. I try to impress upon her the unlikeliness of this happening as it is no longer a new item and is now being sold everywhere to no avail.
While home for Thanksgiving I'm looking over some catalog and see a turntable that burns records to CD's. I suggest to my mom that this would be much better for my dad as that's all he's going to use the USB Turntable to do anyway. This would just eliminate an extra step. But since it's twice as much money my mom wants me to just get what my dad asked for.
So then I'm home again this past weekend and my dad is driving me to the train station and he asks if I got him the USB Turntable yet. As he was the one who circled the item in the catalog, I'm not surprised that he knows he's getting it. I tell him I'm working on it and I mention the new Turntable/CD Burner item. He then tells me that that's what he circled in the catalog he gave my mom. I didn't really look at what he circled so I can't say for sure but I did recall the item only costing $150 so I think that this is strange.
My room is somewhat of a disaster when I get back to my apartment so I don't even bother looking for the catalog. The next day at work I search online for other Turntable/CD Burner items, thinking that maybe the one I saw for $300 was just super extra fancy and that there might be ones selling for $150. This is, of course, not the case. Every one I find is $300 or more. I find one for $295, but definitely nothing close to $150. Interestingly enough, every USB Turntable I find is within the $140-$160 range. I come to the conclusion that my dad must not have realized that what he circled was not what he wanted. I call my mom to discuss this with her since what my dad really wants is going to cost twice as much as what she thought she was going to get him and to see if she just wants to get the cheaper item since he can do the same thing with it, just with one additional step or if she wants to get the $300 turntable.
Then this happens:
mom: Hello?
me (as I walk to the PATH after work): Hi.
mom (cheerful): Hi! You sound happy. Why do you sound happy?
me: I'm not. I mean, I'm not unhappy but I'm not particularly happy. I'm leaving work and it's cold out. I don't know.
mom: Did you get that thing for your dad yet?
me: Actually that's why I'm calling. I have a question about what he wants. See, I told him about that thing I saw in that catalog on Thanksgiving and it sounded like that's what he wanted but...
mom: hold on, I'll put him on the phone. (away from phone, but not really) JOE!!!!!!
me (a little louder): no, wait. I don't want to talk to dad. I already talked to dad about this!
dad: hello?
me: why did she put you on the phone? I need to talk to her about this!
dad: what do you need?
me: I need to talk to her. I was telling her that but she doesn't listen.
mom (in the background): I don't know what she's talking about. You talk to her.
dad: You're mom doesn't know what I want. Just buy it.
me: Can I please talk to her?
mom: hello?
me: mom, please listen, do not put dad on the phone! The thing is, what dad circled in that catalog...
mom: I don't know what it is. Talk to your dad about it.
me: DO NOT PUT DAD ON THE PHONE!!!
dad: hello?
me: What is wrong with her? Seriously!!
dad: calm down. now just tell me what's going on.
me: No! You already know what's going on. I need to explain this to mom.
dad: Just get me what I circled in that catalog.
me: But I'm pretty sure what you circled was the turntable that plugs into the computer.
dad: No. Did your mom give you the catalog where I circled the record player that makes CD copies?
me: Mom gave me the catalog but I'm pretty sure what you circled isn't what you think it is.
dad: You don't have the catalog. I'll find the catalog for you.
me: No, dad, mom gave me the catalog.
dad: Then just order that. The record player that burns cds.
me: Dad, I don't have the catalog in front of me but what you circled is too cheap to be the item that you want. I'm pretty sure...
dad: That's what I want. Just order it.
me: Can I please talk to mom?
mom: hello?
me: Please. Please. Do NOT put dad back on the phone! I do not have the catalog in front of me so I will look at it when I get home but what dad wants is not the same price as...
dad: hello?
me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????
dad: Now calm down. This is not a big deal.
me: Fine. Fine. Whatever. Fine. (It is taking all of my will power to not just hang up the phone at this point. I am walking down Broadway screaming into my cell phone. I am becoming one of those people I hate.) I will go home and I will look at the catalog and see what you circled and then I will call back and I will discuss this. Fine.
dad: okay.
me: Please, put mom back on the phone and no matter what DO NOT take the phone back from her.
mom: I don't know what he wants. Just order what he circled.
me: Fine. Whatever. I am going to order what he circled in the catalog. It may cost $300.
mom: No what he circled cost $150.
me: I understand that. Please stay on the phone. But what he wants is $300. Don't give him the phone.
dad (in the background): just stay on the phone with her. I know you don't know what I want. I told her the same thing.
me: mom? are you listening?
mom: I don't know what he wants. Some record player thing.
me: Mom, I am telling you I know what he wants. I will buy it. Please listen, and don't give dad the phone. If dad is right and what is circled in the catalog is what he wants then I will order it. If I am right, and I think I am, then what he wants costs $300, however, and please stay on the phone for this, I can get something for $150 which will do the same thing as what he wants except with one additional step that requires hooking it up to the computer.
mom: the second one.
me: the $150 one with the extra step?
mom (Practically whispering so my dad won't hear, despite the fact that my dad knows exactly what he's getting!!!!): no, the other one.
me: the $300 one.
mom (still whispering): yeah.
me: fine. I'll see you for Christmas. Maybe. I still wasn't invited.
mom (exasperated): have a good night sara.
...And this is why I don't call home.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
My brother is 12...
Really he's like 32 or something but you wouldn't know it.
We're on the subway. I'm having a conversation with his wife and her cousin. My brother is standing next to where we are sitting. My sister-in-law says something to my brother but he's not listening. He starts laughing to himself. We ask him what's so funny. He says look, and then proceeds to cover up some lines on the subway's emergency alert box so that it no longer reads: In an emergency, to alert crew members, open box and press strip and instead reads: In an emergency, to alert crew members, strip.
My brother is 12.
We're on the subway. I'm having a conversation with his wife and her cousin. My brother is standing next to where we are sitting. My sister-in-law says something to my brother but he's not listening. He starts laughing to himself. We ask him what's so funny. He says look, and then proceeds to cover up some lines on the subway's emergency alert box so that it no longer reads: In an emergency, to alert crew members, open box and press strip and instead reads: In an emergency, to alert crew members, strip.
My brother is 12.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sometimes...
Sometimes I get sad.
Sometimes I think what the fuck am I doing?
I think about all of the things I said I was going to do once I moved. I think about those 7 months when I was spending four hours of my day and $500 a month on my commute and I'd say, when I move I'll have more time/money for this and that. And now I've moved and I feel like I never have any time/money for anything. I think about all of my friends at home that I hardly see anymore and how much I miss them and how much I miss just hanging out at Ken and Don's on Friday nights playing golf/hockey/links/f*** the dealer/etc. with Ken and the boys. Sometimes I think about who I used to be and how much I miss that person and I wonder if I'm really moving forward or just standing still?
Sometimes I get sad.
Then I remember that this time last year I worked alone in a crazy blind man's basement.
And then I feel better about life.
Sometimes I think what the fuck am I doing?
I think about all of the things I said I was going to do once I moved. I think about those 7 months when I was spending four hours of my day and $500 a month on my commute and I'd say, when I move I'll have more time/money for this and that. And now I've moved and I feel like I never have any time/money for anything. I think about all of my friends at home that I hardly see anymore and how much I miss them and how much I miss just hanging out at Ken and Don's on Friday nights playing golf/hockey/links/f*** the dealer/etc. with Ken and the boys. Sometimes I think about who I used to be and how much I miss that person and I wonder if I'm really moving forward or just standing still?
Sometimes I get sad.
Then I remember that this time last year I worked alone in a crazy blind man's basement.
And then I feel better about life.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Favorite person of the day.
My roommate's boyfriend is totally my favorite person today.
Last night was JM's wine and cheese party at our apartment. As the first guests start to arrive, Joseph cues up the music and he's playing some Billy Joel. Immediately I'm impressed. Yay, Joseph. Then I realize that he's not just playing a Billy Joel, he's playing an entire Billy Joel album! Now that's the way to get a party started!
After the Billy sadly comes to end, Joseph asks me to take over with DJ duties as he felt I had the best musical taste in the bunch.
Seriously! Favorite person ever?
Probably not.
Also, he's JM's bf so that would probably be weird.
But totally favorite person of the day!
Last night was JM's wine and cheese party at our apartment. As the first guests start to arrive, Joseph cues up the music and he's playing some Billy Joel. Immediately I'm impressed. Yay, Joseph. Then I realize that he's not just playing a Billy Joel, he's playing an entire Billy Joel album! Now that's the way to get a party started!
After the Billy sadly comes to end, Joseph asks me to take over with DJ duties as he felt I had the best musical taste in the bunch.
Seriously! Favorite person ever?
Probably not.
Also, he's JM's bf so that would probably be weird.
But totally favorite person of the day!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Leaf Peepers 5km: The Aftermath
So I did it. I ran a 5km race. And I survived.
Barely.
Kate and Ben picked me up Saturday morning to drive up to Vermont. Despite my lack of training I was psyched. I, of course, stayed up until almost 3am making the perfect Vermont Leaf Peepers Race Road Trip mix. Luckily, and not surprisingly, Kate and Ben got lost trying to get to Jersey City giving me enough time for the requisite oversleeping and a quick hop in the shower so as not to stink up the car for the 7 hour drive.
At the last minute I decide to call my dad as I realize that while me and Kate both know how to get to Vermont from Monroe, neither of us know how to get there from Jersey City. My dad on the other hand knows how to get anywhere from everywhere.
The problem with getting directions from my dad is this: he will start out by giving you the easiest, most direct directions - this is good. he will then continue to give you alternative directions as follows, "if there's traffic on rt. 17 you can get off on rt. 80 and take the parkway. or you can get off at rt. 27 and take that to the ny thruway or take rt. 17 to rt. 80 to rt. 27 or the turnpike to the parkway to the thruway, etc., etc.' - this is not good. so what started out as very simple directions is now a full sheet of paper of just scribbles.
So we hit the road. I offer to drive first. Considering I've gotten approximately 5 hours of sleep, this is a mistake. But they let me drive. I pop in my ipod and hand it off to Ben to start up the Vermont Leaf Peepers Race Road Trip mix. He can't find it. I make snarky remarks about the skill level involved to use an ipod. I snatch it away to do it myself. I can't find it. It didn't load. I repeat, it didn't load. The mix I spent hours putting together, staying up until all hours of the morning so that we could enjoy some good road tunes on our trip, didn't load! You can't take a road trip without a road trip mix. It's just not done. I am devastated. I momentarily consider turning around and heading back to my apartment to try again. The trip is now, officially, ruined for me.
We put the ipod on shuffle and drive on following my dad's now extremely confusing directions. What my dad failed to mention is that the initial exit we were to be looking for was immediately after we got off of the turnpike. We missed this exit. We never even had a chance with this exit. The problem now is that I did notice the exits for all of these alternate roads my dad threw at me. I even considered taking them but as my dad suggested these as alternatives if, and only if, there was traffic on the initial route and as there wasn't I just kept on going. Until we started to see signs for Pennsylvania.
Last time I checked, Pennsylvania - not on the way to Vermont.
So I call my dad, which is my next mistake. While my dad is really good at giving directions, he doesn't take well to people who get lost using those directions. First there is the yelling - how did you miss the exit!?! how did you miss all those other exits!?! i don't even know where you are!?! Then he just hangs up out of pure frustration. Then he calls back slightly calmer and explains that as we have gone at least twenty miles out of our way past the last logical exit, to just keep going and in a few more miles we will come to exit 38 and to take that to get us to the road we need to get back on track. So this is the new plan.
As I get closer to Exit 38 I make my way to the right lane and start to slow down. No way I'm missing this exit. We approach exit 37. I'm prepared. I'm watching the signs and then...exit 39! WTF! We get off at exit 39, confused, bewildered, where's exit 38?? We get back on the road, this time going in the opposite direction. Maybe, I reason, you can only reach this exit coming from the south? I realize this doesn't make sense, but neither does exit 38 just not existing at all!
We get back on the highway coming off of exit 39. I stay in the right lane as exit 38 should be next. Should be, being the operative term. It is not. There is no exit 38. Exit 38 does not exist. We get off at exit 37 and find ourselves at some twisted seaside-like snackbar except in the middle of nowhere in north jersey. We ask them about exit 38 - they've never heard of an exit 38. They know not of what we speak. They look at us funny for even asking the whereabouts of exit 38. I get a hotdog and we get back on the road.
Since there is no exit 38 and calling my dad back and trying to explain this is not an option, we choose instead to drive 20 miles back to the last alternative exit to get us where we need to go.
An hour into the drive and we're still in fucking New Jersey.
About two hours into the drive, it starts. The sickness. I find myself in the backseat, curled up into a ball, trying desperately not to vomit. This is how I spend the majority of the drive, attempting to sleep, downing midol, hating life.
We arrive. Within minutes I can't breath. Now in addition to serious stomach pains, my allergies decide to get in on the game. Anthony's not breathing too well either. My theory is that Jill did something to the house to screw with the ventilation or something to take down her competition. Little did she know, no such measures were necessary, I was already defeated. Anthony and Jill offer us a typical Vermont dinner - there's a lot of greenery involved, lots of unidentified objects they refer to as vegetables. I'm not interested. I cuddle on the couch with Sadie.
It's an early night. Everyone wants to be prepared for the run the next morning. I'm exhausted and still in all sorts of pain. I down any medication I can find to dull the pains in my stomach, my head and to help me to breath. Nothing seems to be working. I wait for sleep. It doesn't come. Who knew there was caffeine in Midol?
I get absolutely no sleep what-so-ever. I am miserable. I do not want to be in Vermont. I do not want to have to run 3 miles in just a few hours. I want to be at home, in my bed, alone, asleep. But I am not. I suck it up.
The next morning we drive out to the race site. I'm actually feeling slightly less death-like, but still not altogether pleasant, on top of which I'm exhausted from a complete lack of sleep. Shockingly, it's also cold in Vermont. Who knew? All I brought to run in are shorts and a t-shirt. As we stand around waiting for the race to start I freeze.
The 5kers run first with the half marathon runners starting ten minutes later. I stand with Jill and Ben waiting to run. I'm awake, but barely. Running 3 miles is honestly the last thing in the world I want to be doing right now. We check out our competition. Standing near us is a woman who had to be in her 90's. She is wearing possibly the greatest thing ever: a neon pink spandex running outfit. It's amazing. I am distracted by the amazing neon spandex amazingness. At 25 I could not pull off this outfit but this 90-something year old woman is totally owning it. I still don't want to run. I'd much rather just stand around and make fun of people. The race starts. I suck it up and run.
I run the first leg of the run with Jill. Normally when I run alone I will run really fast for really short spurts and then take half-second breaks in between. In order to run with Jill, I'm slowing down my normal pace but running continuously for much longer than I normally would. We wind up running for 2 miles straight, mostly catching up on gossip along the way. I'm not really taking this race seriously, and it doesn't seem like Jill is either, and we're both okay with this. We're running but not trying to kill ourselves to beat anyone or anything. Speaking of, Ben beat us both by about 7 minutes. I'm just saying.
After the second mile I decide to take off on my own. Partially because I'm bored of running so slow and really just want to finish this stupid thing and partially because I want to beat Jill. I'm surprisingly competitive about certain things with certain people. Mostly my really close friends and family. Most of the time I talk a big game but have no real chance of actually delivering on all my shit talking but as it turns out I am actually faster than Jill and have a good shot at taking her down so I go for it.
I'm keeping a fairly good pace when these really really fit men go flying by me. I realize that some of the half marathoners have caught up with me. I pick up my pace, knowing full well how awful I'll feel about life if my brother passes me after being given a 10 minute head start. I make it to the bridge where the 5kmer and the half marathoners split off without seeing my brother, an accomplishment in itself. As I turn the corner I can see the finish line, I'm almost there. Behind me I hear some serious heavy breathing. I turn and see the 90-year-old woman in all her pink spandexy awesomeness. As awesome as she is though, there is no way in hell I'm letting her beat me. She can barely walk and yet she's about a foot behind me on a 5km race. This is pathetic. I pick up my pace.
I finish the race at a pathetic 34 minutes. I beat the 90-year-old woman by only 40 seconds. I beat Jill by a full minute. Yes, Jill got beat by the 90-year-old! After the race I sit down in the little cooling down area and eat a cracker and some water. I'm feeling okay. Sad about my pathetic time but happy to have finished the race at all. After a few minutes, Ben and I go in search of Jill. After we find her we find a little grassy knoll where we can sit and wait for Anthony and Katie. As soon as I sit I realize how tired I am and just completely pass out. I wake up about twenty minutes later to see the first half marathoner cross the finish line. His time is a few minutes over an hour. This guy ran 13 miles in less than double the time it took me to run 3 miles. He hasn't even broken a sweat. He doesn't even bother with the little cooling down area. A few minutes later he's jogging down the street with the guy who finished second. He's clearly a ridiculous human being. About a half hour later my brother finishes and 30 minutes after that so does Katie.
We celebrate at a local pub with booze and food all of which just makes me even more sleepy. We go back to Jill and Anthony's and Jill puts on the football game. I think she's maybe joking. She's not. I pass out on the couch.
The next day we drive back to Jersey.
Back at my apartment I hang up my little runner number thing. I'll let myself pretend I'm a runner. I can pretend that it didn't take me 34 minutes to run 3 miles and that I didn't only barely beat a woman almost 4 times my age.
I can pretend and I can train and next Memorial Day weekend I can run in the Burlington City Marathon and I can kick some ass. Here's hoping.
Countdown to Burlington City Marathon: 181 days
Barely.
Kate and Ben picked me up Saturday morning to drive up to Vermont. Despite my lack of training I was psyched. I, of course, stayed up until almost 3am making the perfect Vermont Leaf Peepers Race Road Trip mix. Luckily, and not surprisingly, Kate and Ben got lost trying to get to Jersey City giving me enough time for the requisite oversleeping and a quick hop in the shower so as not to stink up the car for the 7 hour drive.
At the last minute I decide to call my dad as I realize that while me and Kate both know how to get to Vermont from Monroe, neither of us know how to get there from Jersey City. My dad on the other hand knows how to get anywhere from everywhere.
The problem with getting directions from my dad is this: he will start out by giving you the easiest, most direct directions - this is good. he will then continue to give you alternative directions as follows, "if there's traffic on rt. 17 you can get off on rt. 80 and take the parkway. or you can get off at rt. 27 and take that to the ny thruway or take rt. 17 to rt. 80 to rt. 27 or the turnpike to the parkway to the thruway, etc., etc.' - this is not good. so what started out as very simple directions is now a full sheet of paper of just scribbles.
So we hit the road. I offer to drive first. Considering I've gotten approximately 5 hours of sleep, this is a mistake. But they let me drive. I pop in my ipod and hand it off to Ben to start up the Vermont Leaf Peepers Race Road Trip mix. He can't find it. I make snarky remarks about the skill level involved to use an ipod. I snatch it away to do it myself. I can't find it. It didn't load. I repeat, it didn't load. The mix I spent hours putting together, staying up until all hours of the morning so that we could enjoy some good road tunes on our trip, didn't load! You can't take a road trip without a road trip mix. It's just not done. I am devastated. I momentarily consider turning around and heading back to my apartment to try again. The trip is now, officially, ruined for me.
We put the ipod on shuffle and drive on following my dad's now extremely confusing directions. What my dad failed to mention is that the initial exit we were to be looking for was immediately after we got off of the turnpike. We missed this exit. We never even had a chance with this exit. The problem now is that I did notice the exits for all of these alternate roads my dad threw at me. I even considered taking them but as my dad suggested these as alternatives if, and only if, there was traffic on the initial route and as there wasn't I just kept on going. Until we started to see signs for Pennsylvania.
Last time I checked, Pennsylvania - not on the way to Vermont.
So I call my dad, which is my next mistake. While my dad is really good at giving directions, he doesn't take well to people who get lost using those directions. First there is the yelling - how did you miss the exit!?! how did you miss all those other exits!?! i don't even know where you are!?! Then he just hangs up out of pure frustration. Then he calls back slightly calmer and explains that as we have gone at least twenty miles out of our way past the last logical exit, to just keep going and in a few more miles we will come to exit 38 and to take that to get us to the road we need to get back on track. So this is the new plan.
As I get closer to Exit 38 I make my way to the right lane and start to slow down. No way I'm missing this exit. We approach exit 37. I'm prepared. I'm watching the signs and then...exit 39! WTF! We get off at exit 39, confused, bewildered, where's exit 38?? We get back on the road, this time going in the opposite direction. Maybe, I reason, you can only reach this exit coming from the south? I realize this doesn't make sense, but neither does exit 38 just not existing at all!
We get back on the highway coming off of exit 39. I stay in the right lane as exit 38 should be next. Should be, being the operative term. It is not. There is no exit 38. Exit 38 does not exist. We get off at exit 37 and find ourselves at some twisted seaside-like snackbar except in the middle of nowhere in north jersey. We ask them about exit 38 - they've never heard of an exit 38. They know not of what we speak. They look at us funny for even asking the whereabouts of exit 38. I get a hotdog and we get back on the road.
Since there is no exit 38 and calling my dad back and trying to explain this is not an option, we choose instead to drive 20 miles back to the last alternative exit to get us where we need to go.
An hour into the drive and we're still in fucking New Jersey.
About two hours into the drive, it starts. The sickness. I find myself in the backseat, curled up into a ball, trying desperately not to vomit. This is how I spend the majority of the drive, attempting to sleep, downing midol, hating life.
We arrive. Within minutes I can't breath. Now in addition to serious stomach pains, my allergies decide to get in on the game. Anthony's not breathing too well either. My theory is that Jill did something to the house to screw with the ventilation or something to take down her competition. Little did she know, no such measures were necessary, I was already defeated. Anthony and Jill offer us a typical Vermont dinner - there's a lot of greenery involved, lots of unidentified objects they refer to as vegetables. I'm not interested. I cuddle on the couch with Sadie.
It's an early night. Everyone wants to be prepared for the run the next morning. I'm exhausted and still in all sorts of pain. I down any medication I can find to dull the pains in my stomach, my head and to help me to breath. Nothing seems to be working. I wait for sleep. It doesn't come. Who knew there was caffeine in Midol?
I get absolutely no sleep what-so-ever. I am miserable. I do not want to be in Vermont. I do not want to have to run 3 miles in just a few hours. I want to be at home, in my bed, alone, asleep. But I am not. I suck it up.
The next morning we drive out to the race site. I'm actually feeling slightly less death-like, but still not altogether pleasant, on top of which I'm exhausted from a complete lack of sleep. Shockingly, it's also cold in Vermont. Who knew? All I brought to run in are shorts and a t-shirt. As we stand around waiting for the race to start I freeze.
The 5kers run first with the half marathon runners starting ten minutes later. I stand with Jill and Ben waiting to run. I'm awake, but barely. Running 3 miles is honestly the last thing in the world I want to be doing right now. We check out our competition. Standing near us is a woman who had to be in her 90's. She is wearing possibly the greatest thing ever: a neon pink spandex running outfit. It's amazing. I am distracted by the amazing neon spandex amazingness. At 25 I could not pull off this outfit but this 90-something year old woman is totally owning it. I still don't want to run. I'd much rather just stand around and make fun of people. The race starts. I suck it up and run.
I run the first leg of the run with Jill. Normally when I run alone I will run really fast for really short spurts and then take half-second breaks in between. In order to run with Jill, I'm slowing down my normal pace but running continuously for much longer than I normally would. We wind up running for 2 miles straight, mostly catching up on gossip along the way. I'm not really taking this race seriously, and it doesn't seem like Jill is either, and we're both okay with this. We're running but not trying to kill ourselves to beat anyone or anything. Speaking of, Ben beat us both by about 7 minutes. I'm just saying.
After the second mile I decide to take off on my own. Partially because I'm bored of running so slow and really just want to finish this stupid thing and partially because I want to beat Jill. I'm surprisingly competitive about certain things with certain people. Mostly my really close friends and family. Most of the time I talk a big game but have no real chance of actually delivering on all my shit talking but as it turns out I am actually faster than Jill and have a good shot at taking her down so I go for it.
I'm keeping a fairly good pace when these really really fit men go flying by me. I realize that some of the half marathoners have caught up with me. I pick up my pace, knowing full well how awful I'll feel about life if my brother passes me after being given a 10 minute head start. I make it to the bridge where the 5kmer and the half marathoners split off without seeing my brother, an accomplishment in itself. As I turn the corner I can see the finish line, I'm almost there. Behind me I hear some serious heavy breathing. I turn and see the 90-year-old woman in all her pink spandexy awesomeness. As awesome as she is though, there is no way in hell I'm letting her beat me. She can barely walk and yet she's about a foot behind me on a 5km race. This is pathetic. I pick up my pace.
I finish the race at a pathetic 34 minutes. I beat the 90-year-old woman by only 40 seconds. I beat Jill by a full minute. Yes, Jill got beat by the 90-year-old! After the race I sit down in the little cooling down area and eat a cracker and some water. I'm feeling okay. Sad about my pathetic time but happy to have finished the race at all. After a few minutes, Ben and I go in search of Jill. After we find her we find a little grassy knoll where we can sit and wait for Anthony and Katie. As soon as I sit I realize how tired I am and just completely pass out. I wake up about twenty minutes later to see the first half marathoner cross the finish line. His time is a few minutes over an hour. This guy ran 13 miles in less than double the time it took me to run 3 miles. He hasn't even broken a sweat. He doesn't even bother with the little cooling down area. A few minutes later he's jogging down the street with the guy who finished second. He's clearly a ridiculous human being. About a half hour later my brother finishes and 30 minutes after that so does Katie.
We celebrate at a local pub with booze and food all of which just makes me even more sleepy. We go back to Jill and Anthony's and Jill puts on the football game. I think she's maybe joking. She's not. I pass out on the couch.
The next day we drive back to Jersey.
Back at my apartment I hang up my little runner number thing. I'll let myself pretend I'm a runner. I can pretend that it didn't take me 34 minutes to run 3 miles and that I didn't only barely beat a woman almost 4 times my age.
I can pretend and I can train and next Memorial Day weekend I can run in the Burlington City Marathon and I can kick some ass. Here's hoping.
Countdown to Burlington City Marathon: 181 days
Friday, September 28, 2007
Leaf Peepers 5km Countdown: 0 days to train
Umm...Oops? Where did the time go? Oh right, there was the packing and the Puerto Rico and the engagement party and the moving and the unpacking and the...holy crap the race is this weekend!
I am seriously, seriously not prepared for this. My sister-in-law claims that she too has not been training and is also not prepared for this race. I tried to explain to her the difference between me not training - sleeping in, living on poptarts and hot pockets, being lathargic and inactive - and her not training - a strictly organic vegetarian diet, waking up early, being all productive and active, climbing mountains on a regular basis for fun. See? I'm screwed.
Who's idea was this??
I am seriously, seriously not prepared for this. My sister-in-law claims that she too has not been training and is also not prepared for this race. I tried to explain to her the difference between me not training - sleeping in, living on poptarts and hot pockets, being lathargic and inactive - and her not training - a strictly organic vegetarian diet, waking up early, being all productive and active, climbing mountains on a regular basis for fun. See? I'm screwed.
Who's idea was this??
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
Leaf Peepers 5km Race Countdown: 58 days to train
My training has been put on hold since I'm still sick- yuck! Unfort I can't make a doctor's appointment until next week so until then I might be laying low with the whole running thing.
I know, I know, horror of horrors! The sorrow, the pain! I shall dream of the pavement passing ever so quickly beneath my fashionably sensible running sneaks. To have to wait to feel the sweet agony of unrelenting pain. The blisters! The sore muscles! The unbearable August sun beating down on my sweating brow! I don't know if my poor heart can take the wait.
But it must! For soon I shall return to my former health (although really, let's be honest here, when am I not sick?) and continue forward with my training with renewed energy and strength to once again put you all to shame with my masterful running time. For after these long, grueling days of training, it will all prove worth it in the end. For there is nothing greater in this life than crossing that finish line to great accolade from your (or at least anthony and jill's) fellow townsmen and receiving that coveted prize of...
A long sleeve t-shirt. Woo hoo!
Too much?
I know, I know, horror of horrors! The sorrow, the pain! I shall dream of the pavement passing ever so quickly beneath my fashionably sensible running sneaks. To have to wait to feel the sweet agony of unrelenting pain. The blisters! The sore muscles! The unbearable August sun beating down on my sweating brow! I don't know if my poor heart can take the wait.
But it must! For soon I shall return to my former health (although really, let's be honest here, when am I not sick?) and continue forward with my training with renewed energy and strength to once again put you all to shame with my masterful running time. For after these long, grueling days of training, it will all prove worth it in the end. For there is nothing greater in this life than crossing that finish line to great accolade from your (or at least anthony and jill's) fellow townsmen and receiving that coveted prize of...
A long sleeve t-shirt. Woo hoo!
Too much?
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Leaf Peepers 5km Race Countdown: 59 days to train
Training has been put on hold. I've been sick all week - this is what spending time with nature, doing exercise, and eating salads does to me - so no running since Monday but once I beat this silly little cold I will be back hitting the pavement - faster than ever. Be prepared.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Leaf Peepers 5km Race Countdown: 61 days to train
It's on.
To start, I ran two miles last night just to see what kind of time I'm looking at. Two miles in 19 minutes. Looking at last year's times for this race, the time to beat for my age group is 19.58 so I have 61 days to add a mile without raising my time.
After my run I embraced this new healthy runner lifestlye and swam a few laps in the pool and then ate a plum.
Then I ate a Sara Mennona original consisting of yellow pudding cake, three cookies, maple spread, honey, and nutella, drank about 3 gallons of milk, and watched tv.
Tonight I shall drink profusely and probably get 3 hours of sleep.
Tomorrow I shall run again.
I will surely kick the ass of everyone who dares run alongside me. Be warned. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
To start, I ran two miles last night just to see what kind of time I'm looking at. Two miles in 19 minutes. Looking at last year's times for this race, the time to beat for my age group is 19.58 so I have 61 days to add a mile without raising my time.
After my run I embraced this new healthy runner lifestlye and swam a few laps in the pool and then ate a plum.
Then I ate a Sara Mennona original consisting of yellow pudding cake, three cookies, maple spread, honey, and nutella, drank about 3 gallons of milk, and watched tv.
Tonight I shall drink profusely and probably get 3 hours of sleep.
Tomorrow I shall run again.
I will surely kick the ass of everyone who dares run alongside me. Be warned. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
running man.
anytime i spend any sort of extended period of time with my siblings i am usually left wondering how in the hell we're related.
i mean, really!
i spent the weekend in vermont. i once again spent my summer friday in a car for many many hours. i am clearly a waster of summer fridays.
i went up to visit my brother. my brother who thinks riding his bike for 37 hours straight is a good time.
we walked. we walked 9 miles. in the heat. with the bugs. and the heat. and the yuck.
then we swam across a lake.
it must have been the heat. or the bugs. or the lake. somewhere along there i was convinced to sign up for a 5km (approx. 3 miles) race.
24th annual leaf peepers 5km race. sunday, september 30. waterbury, vermont. time to beat from 2006 results: 19.58 minutes.
the way i see it there's no point in joining a race unless i plan on winning. not just winning but completely dominating. i shall train. i shall become...a runner! i will run. i will run 3 miles. i will run 3 miles and kick everyone's ass.
be prepared bitches.
i guess i'm more like my brother than i thought.
i mean, really!
i spent the weekend in vermont. i once again spent my summer friday in a car for many many hours. i am clearly a waster of summer fridays.
i went up to visit my brother. my brother who thinks riding his bike for 37 hours straight is a good time.
we walked. we walked 9 miles. in the heat. with the bugs. and the heat. and the yuck.
then we swam across a lake.
it must have been the heat. or the bugs. or the lake. somewhere along there i was convinced to sign up for a 5km (approx. 3 miles) race.
24th annual leaf peepers 5km race. sunday, september 30. waterbury, vermont. time to beat from 2006 results: 19.58 minutes.
the way i see it there's no point in joining a race unless i plan on winning. not just winning but completely dominating. i shall train. i shall become...a runner! i will run. i will run 3 miles. i will run 3 miles and kick everyone's ass.
be prepared bitches.
i guess i'm more like my brother than i thought.
Friday, March 30, 2007
It just looks cool...
Picture of the Day:
Reuters/Andy Gao
A vendor waits for customers to play inside plastic spheres near the seashore in Sanya, China, on March 29, 2007.
Reuters/Andy Gao
A vendor waits for customers to play inside plastic spheres near the seashore in Sanya, China, on March 29, 2007.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Today's notes
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
If you wanted to buy this for me...
I'd be okay with that.
“High energy and immediacy characterize the era's graphic design: text was often handwritten and laid out sideways, and trippy cartoons in saturated colors captured a drug-addled generation.”
amazon
Fugly Fendi
It's like they took the top half of a flat sandal and slapped it onto a wedge heel and then brilliantly added a kitten heel to the bottom of the wedge. Seperately I think these three shoes are probably really cute, but together...
they kind of make me throw up in my mouth a little.
And also it's $640. There's that vomit-y feeling again.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Cuter than the real thing
This:
is way cuter than this:
Also, me and acorn (the stuffed one, not the one on the tree) have a lot in common:
Maybe I need to grow some sharp spines.
Get the cuter of the acorns here:
www.perfectchildren.etsy.com
is way cuter than this:
Also, me and acorn (the stuffed one, not the one on the tree) have a lot in common:
This heavily armored creature enjoys traveling and eating out at restaurants slightly beyond it's price range. Acorn has amassed some credit card debt but keeps the creditors away with it's sharp spines.
Maybe I need to grow some sharp spines.
Get the cuter of the acorns here:
www.perfectchildren.etsy.com
Monday, March 26, 2007
The 'More You Know' portion of this blog
Today's Headlines:
For Some Black Pastors, Accepting Gay Members Means Losing Others
Failing Schools See a Solution in Longer Day
Can't we just let kids be kids? I'm all for having higher standards in terms of the quality of a kid's education and everything but isn't childhood supposed to be the care-free part of your life? My 9-year-old nephew has upwards of 4 hours of homework a night and now you want to extend the school day? I think this is a bad idea on all sorts of levels but that's just my opinion.
So there you have it, the more you know. Don't you feel smarter already.
For Some Black Pastors, Accepting Gay Members Means Losing Others
When the Rev. Dennis Meredith of Tabernacle Baptist Church here began preaching acceptance of gay men and lesbians a few years ago, he attracted some gay people who were on the brink of suicide and some who had left the Baptist faith of their childhoods but wanted badly to return.
At the same time, Tabernacle Baptist, an African-American congregation, lost many of its most loyal, generous parishioners, who could not accept a message that contradicted what they saw as the Bible’s condemnation of same-sex relations. Over the last three years, Tabernacle’s Sunday attendance shrank to 800, from 1,100.
“The church has to come to a point when it has to embrace all the people Jesus embraced, and that means the people in the margins,” Dr. Samuel said. “It really bothered my congregation when I said that as people of color who have been ostracized, marginalized, how can we turn around now and oppress other people?”
Failing Schools See a Solution in Longer Day
Can't we just let kids be kids? I'm all for having higher standards in terms of the quality of a kid's education and everything but isn't childhood supposed to be the care-free part of your life? My 9-year-old nephew has upwards of 4 hours of homework a night and now you want to extend the school day? I think this is a bad idea on all sorts of levels but that's just my opinion.
So there you have it, the more you know. Don't you feel smarter already.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Well if The Koran says it's okay...
This is some crazy shit.
And this judge is a woman. That's just messed up.
A German judge has stirred a storm of protest by citing the Koran in turning down a German Muslim woman’s request for a speedy divorce on the ground that her husband beat her.
In a ruling that underlines the tension between Muslim customs and European laws, the judge, Christa Datz-Winter, noted that the couple came from a Moroccan cultural milieu, in which it is common for husbands to beat their wives. The Koran, she wrote in her decision, sanctions such physical abuse.
And this judge is a woman. That's just messed up.
Friday, March 23, 2007
If I had $200 to spend on a blanket...
I'd totally get one of these:
www.moonchingwu.com
They're made from old cashmere sweaters so they're soft, warm and green. Yay for them.
Unfortunately I do not have $200 to spend on a blanket as I would imagine most people don't. I'm sure it won't look as good but I might have to go and hit up the thrift store and make my own.
In related news, according to the site that sells them, these blankets come from an assortment of animals including this:
I don't know what it is exactly, but I think I might need one.
www.moonchingwu.com
They're made from old cashmere sweaters so they're soft, warm and green. Yay for them.
Unfortunately I do not have $200 to spend on a blanket as I would imagine most people don't. I'm sure it won't look as good but I might have to go and hit up the thrift store and make my own.
In related news, according to the site that sells them, these blankets come from an assortment of animals including this:
I don't know what it is exactly, but I think I might need one.
Best thing ever?
This American Life takes on television.
Worst thing ever?
I don't have Showtime. Lame.
I guess me and Ira will just have to bond over the radio for now
Worst thing ever?
I don't have Showtime. Lame.
I guess me and Ira will just have to bond over the radio for now
Monday, March 19, 2007
Philip Seymour Hoffman, will you be my boyfriend?
This) looks fantastic for the following reasons:
1. Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Duh.
2. Daphne Rubin-Vega. Mimi!!!!!!
3. "compulsively chatty embalmer’s assistant"- love it!
4. "an affection for things Rastafarian. (This means he smokes a lot of marijuana, listens repeatedly to the rasta anthem “Rivers of Babylon” and wears tentative, pale-blonde dreadlocks that look like a bad case of hat hair)"- love it more!
I'm totally trying to get rush tickets for this some day after work. Anyone in the nyc area interested in joining me- let me know.
PERFORMANCE SCHEDULE:
Tues Feb 27 - Sun Apr 29
Tues at 7pm (Tues Mar 27 at 8pm)
Wed - Fri at 8pm
Sat at 2 & 8pm
Sun at 2 & 7pm
Unavailable Dates: Sun Mar 18 at 7pm, Tues Mar 27 at 8pm, Tue Apr 10 at 7pm
Rush Tix
There will be a limited number of $20 Rush Tix available at the box office for every downtown theater performance on sale to the general public one hour prior to curtain. There is a 2 ticket limit per person. Cash only.
1. Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Duh.
2. Daphne Rubin-Vega. Mimi!!!!!!
3. "compulsively chatty embalmer’s assistant"- love it!
4. "an affection for things Rastafarian. (This means he smokes a lot of marijuana, listens repeatedly to the rasta anthem “Rivers of Babylon” and wears tentative, pale-blonde dreadlocks that look like a bad case of hat hair)"- love it more!
I'm totally trying to get rush tickets for this some day after work. Anyone in the nyc area interested in joining me- let me know.
PERFORMANCE SCHEDULE:
Tues Feb 27 - Sun Apr 29
Tues at 7pm (Tues Mar 27 at 8pm)
Wed - Fri at 8pm
Sat at 2 & 8pm
Sun at 2 & 7pm
Unavailable Dates: Sun Mar 18 at 7pm, Tues Mar 27 at 8pm, Tue Apr 10 at 7pm
Rush Tix
There will be a limited number of $20 Rush Tix available at the box office for every downtown theater performance on sale to the general public one hour prior to curtain. There is a 2 ticket limit per person. Cash only.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
See you later, (project) decorator!
I would like to state for the record, I had no intentions of ever watching Project Decorator or America's Next Top Decorator or Survivor: Pacific Coast Design Center or whatever the name is of Bravo's newest reality show. While ANTM, Project Runway, Beauty and the Geek, and (sadly) Grease: You're the One That I Want are a few of my favorite tivo'd shows, I am not a competitve reality junkie. I do love me some Real World/Road Rules Challenges, but that's mostly because, being a teen in the 90's and all, I watched many a season of Real World and can't help myself but to watch the reality show stars of my youth battle it out doing inane (increasingly so as the seasons go on) stunts, but I even dropped the tivo'ing ball with the last season now that we're mixing in off-the-street 'rookies' and foregoing mental challenges for purely physical ones. I've never watched Survivor, Flavors of Love, Making the Band, or Bravo's other competive reality show Top Chef. I appreciate the idea behind that Amazing Race show and I would probably watch American Idol if it wasn't on every single night for many many hours, but it wasn't like I thought, oh another competitive reality show- gotta set the tivo. And if I'm being completely honest, I wish I had missed the boat with this particular gem, but thanks to itune's free download of the pilot episode, I am now hooked.
The very first, and probably the biggest problem so far with the show is that we're already four or five (or maybe more?) episodes into the season and I still don't know (or worst, care) who I'm rooting for. From day one, I've been, generally speaking, a Goil fan. Partly because of his affinity towards using large random ceramic fruits and vegetables as conversation pieces in his rooms, partly because of his way of introducing himself as 'goil like gargoyle,' and a litte bit because I really liked the swing chair and sandbox in the Alexas Arquette room and the leg-less chair in the design student's room challenge, but am I really going to care if he wins? Probably not. During the preview for last night's episode they showed Goil on the verge of tears and I was very upset at whoever made my dear Goil cry, but after watching the episode, it turns out I really couldn't care less. This is mostly because while I feel for Goil in not being heard and feeling pushed out of the little Eric (or was it Matt? I forget which is which- which really shouldn't be still happening this far into the season) and Andrea Exclusive Club, that judge guy (again, I don't know names here although this could be less about production problems and more because I really don't care about interior decorating at all) totally had a point that you have to make yourself heard, that's part of the challenge. And also it really seemed like Andrea and Eric really didn't realize what they were doing until confronted by Goil so the whole confrontation scene made Goil seem like a child more than making Eric and Andrea seem like vilians and what's a reality show without a good villain. Which brings us to issue number three- I don't really care about the villians. Carissa and Michael are clearly the petty, annoying, coniving, lazy, whatever, whatever villians of this show but really? They're not that bad. They're annoying, yeah. They're petty, sure, but I have yet to really want to smash my tv in over their annoyingness and pettiness (see: renee, antm cycle 8). Speaking of wanting to smash my tv, the thing that really made me want to do that last night was this:
Look, Kelly Weastler, up until now I've appreciated your zany approach to fashion- your side ponytails, leggings, and that crazy frizzed out crimped 'do you were trying to rock last week despite the fact that you are clearly no longer 17. You do have a young look and you seem like you'd be fun to party with and of your judging counterparts I've always liked you the best (not counting episode 1 when Alexis Arquette was guest juding of course), but unfortunately that is no longer true. I really didn't think Jonathan Adler was going to redeem himself to me after that ridiculous 'see you later, decorator' catch-phrase but you made it possible Kelly. You, and that ugly-ass catastrophe you call an outfit. But seriously, I've wanted dresses with pants to work. I really did, but it just doesn't. Personally, most cases, I don't find it nearly as offensive as the Fug Girls (http://gofugyourself.com) do, but this? This is where I draw the line. The problem, really, is the dress. Remove the dress and you have a fairly acceptable outfit. I can't even say, wear the dress alone and you'd be alright, because you wouldn't. That dress is Fug! Seriously. I really think that Erik was seriously wrongly eliminated- because that dress was the biggest design faux paus going on last night. I was hoping Margaret Russell (who was kinda rocking her outfit last night) would just slap some sense into Kelly (you know Margaret is just waiting to slap someone!). That dress was ugly to the point of distracting me from the actual competition. Which, come to think of it, might have been the idea because...
OMG- dumbest challenge ever! Here's the question I would like to pose to Bravo: Do you really think the American public are too stupid to distinguish between interior designer and event planner? or is it the staff at Bravo that are too stupid to distinguish between interior designer and event planner? Because, really, very. different. things. I'm just saying. The fact that Michael's team won after he outright stated that he based his design on what he's seen from going to parties in NY and because the judges loved the bouncer who was NOT part of the design aesthetic. Goil atleast made an attempt to use unique design elements although they got drowned out by the rest of his teammates. Also, enough already with the group challenges. This could be why I don't care about any of the designers on an individual level.
The reason I bother at all is because I know Bravo can do better. I mean, Project Runway anyone? So, seriously, step it up Bravo. Get with the interior design program. Stop with the group challenges. And do something about Kelly! Give Nena Garcia a call- she'd totally help a sister out.
The very first, and probably the biggest problem so far with the show is that we're already four or five (or maybe more?) episodes into the season and I still don't know (or worst, care) who I'm rooting for. From day one, I've been, generally speaking, a Goil fan. Partly because of his affinity towards using large random ceramic fruits and vegetables as conversation pieces in his rooms, partly because of his way of introducing himself as 'goil like gargoyle,' and a litte bit because I really liked the swing chair and sandbox in the Alexas Arquette room and the leg-less chair in the design student's room challenge, but am I really going to care if he wins? Probably not. During the preview for last night's episode they showed Goil on the verge of tears and I was very upset at whoever made my dear Goil cry, but after watching the episode, it turns out I really couldn't care less. This is mostly because while I feel for Goil in not being heard and feeling pushed out of the little Eric (or was it Matt? I forget which is which- which really shouldn't be still happening this far into the season) and Andrea Exclusive Club, that judge guy (again, I don't know names here although this could be less about production problems and more because I really don't care about interior decorating at all) totally had a point that you have to make yourself heard, that's part of the challenge. And also it really seemed like Andrea and Eric really didn't realize what they were doing until confronted by Goil so the whole confrontation scene made Goil seem like a child more than making Eric and Andrea seem like vilians and what's a reality show without a good villain. Which brings us to issue number three- I don't really care about the villians. Carissa and Michael are clearly the petty, annoying, coniving, lazy, whatever, whatever villians of this show but really? They're not that bad. They're annoying, yeah. They're petty, sure, but I have yet to really want to smash my tv in over their annoyingness and pettiness (see: renee, antm cycle 8). Speaking of wanting to smash my tv, the thing that really made me want to do that last night was this:
Look, Kelly Weastler, up until now I've appreciated your zany approach to fashion- your side ponytails, leggings, and that crazy frizzed out crimped 'do you were trying to rock last week despite the fact that you are clearly no longer 17. You do have a young look and you seem like you'd be fun to party with and of your judging counterparts I've always liked you the best (not counting episode 1 when Alexis Arquette was guest juding of course), but unfortunately that is no longer true. I really didn't think Jonathan Adler was going to redeem himself to me after that ridiculous 'see you later, decorator' catch-phrase but you made it possible Kelly. You, and that ugly-ass catastrophe you call an outfit. But seriously, I've wanted dresses with pants to work. I really did, but it just doesn't. Personally, most cases, I don't find it nearly as offensive as the Fug Girls (http://gofugyourself.com) do, but this? This is where I draw the line. The problem, really, is the dress. Remove the dress and you have a fairly acceptable outfit. I can't even say, wear the dress alone and you'd be alright, because you wouldn't. That dress is Fug! Seriously. I really think that Erik was seriously wrongly eliminated- because that dress was the biggest design faux paus going on last night. I was hoping Margaret Russell (who was kinda rocking her outfit last night) would just slap some sense into Kelly (you know Margaret is just waiting to slap someone!). That dress was ugly to the point of distracting me from the actual competition. Which, come to think of it, might have been the idea because...
OMG- dumbest challenge ever! Here's the question I would like to pose to Bravo: Do you really think the American public are too stupid to distinguish between interior designer and event planner? or is it the staff at Bravo that are too stupid to distinguish between interior designer and event planner? Because, really, very. different. things. I'm just saying. The fact that Michael's team won after he outright stated that he based his design on what he's seen from going to parties in NY and because the judges loved the bouncer who was NOT part of the design aesthetic. Goil atleast made an attempt to use unique design elements although they got drowned out by the rest of his teammates. Also, enough already with the group challenges. This could be why I don't care about any of the designers on an individual level.
The reason I bother at all is because I know Bravo can do better. I mean, Project Runway anyone? So, seriously, step it up Bravo. Get with the interior design program. Stop with the group challenges. And do something about Kelly! Give Nena Garcia a call- she'd totally help a sister out.
The 'more you know' portion of this blog
Today's Headlines:
Dying Woman Loses Appeal on Marijuana as Medication
So this 41-year-old lady is dying from an inoperable brain tumor and an assortment of other serious ailments and some California judges won't let her use the marijuana her doctor's recommended for her. Totally lame. First of all, check out the picture of the lady crying on the phone- maybe it's cuz she looks kinda like my mom- but that totally just breaks my heart. And, seriously, if she's dying and in some serious pain and smoking a little mary j is gonna help her out, what is the big deal?? The lady is wearing pearls in her picture- she doesn't exactly strike me as someone who just wants to get high for the fun of it. Also, in California, really? My advice, Ms. Raich, move to Vermont. Seriously.
F.D.A. Warns of Sleeping Pills' Strange Effects
These 'strange effects' include eating and driving while asleep. Ummm....what? Okay, eating while you're asleep- probably not the best thing for you, but driving while you're asleep? I'm thinking that might fall under the heading: worst idea ever.
The following quote would be seriously f'in funny if it wasn't actually happening:
In other news: The Bush administration, which six months ago issued a series of political goals for the Iraqi government to meet by this month, is now tacitly acknowledging that the goals will take significantly longer to achieve.
The Bush administration underestimated how long something would take in Iraq? But they're usually so good at judging these types of things.
So there you have it, the more you know. Don't you just feel smarter already?
Dying Woman Loses Appeal on Marijuana as Medication
So this 41-year-old lady is dying from an inoperable brain tumor and an assortment of other serious ailments and some California judges won't let her use the marijuana her doctor's recommended for her. Totally lame. First of all, check out the picture of the lady crying on the phone- maybe it's cuz she looks kinda like my mom- but that totally just breaks my heart. And, seriously, if she's dying and in some serious pain and smoking a little mary j is gonna help her out, what is the big deal?? The lady is wearing pearls in her picture- she doesn't exactly strike me as someone who just wants to get high for the fun of it. Also, in California, really? My advice, Ms. Raich, move to Vermont. Seriously.
F.D.A. Warns of Sleeping Pills' Strange Effects
These 'strange effects' include eating and driving while asleep. Ummm....what? Okay, eating while you're asleep- probably not the best thing for you, but driving while you're asleep? I'm thinking that might fall under the heading: worst idea ever.
The following quote would be seriously f'in funny if it wasn't actually happening:
Sleep-drivers reported frightening episodes in which they recalled going to bed, but woke up to find they had been arrested roadside in their underwear or nightclothes.
In other news: The Bush administration, which six months ago issued a series of political goals for the Iraqi government to meet by this month, is now tacitly acknowledging that the goals will take significantly longer to achieve.
The Bush administration underestimated how long something would take in Iraq? But they're usually so good at judging these types of things.
So there you have it, the more you know. Don't you just feel smarter already?
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